Finding Humor in Personal Imperfections

I present this idea with caution, wary of the implications I may suggest without knowing and the possibility that the reasonings I lay out fall short of cohesion. This is primarily because it is an idea born in a grey area, perhaps on the spectrum of moral behavior or that of constructive introspection, which is further complicated by the particular types of imperfections we highlight, as they also vary in their respective recommended methods of confrontation, from absolute surrender to absolute rejection. So view the following words as a personal take on personal matters and derive whatever value you deem valuable, if there are any to be found at all. 

I define personal imperfections as facets of my character that could be improved to elevate myself in my own standard of the ideal “me”. I chose to insert myself into that statement somewhat excessively, because our standards differ across cultures and individuals, and it is ultimately my decision whether I adopt certain standards you may already uphold. For example, the body positivity movement antagonizes the supermodel/superhero physique as unobtainable, unhealthy idolizations, and encourages the acceptance of who you are, as you are. However, the decision to accept my body belongs to me just as much as the decision to reject it. It seems reasonable to impose your own standards to yourself, as long as it is not producing any harm to you or anyone else.

As for the imperfections I have come to notice, there is a working list. They are most noticeable in the form of differences, typically when others possess qualities I do not, through which I am tasked with assessing whether the observed divergence is justifiable or a marked flaw I should overcome. The categorization of the latter can be tolling, depending on how solidified the self-image is and the expected effort required to make room for change. It is at this stage that I find humor most helpful. 

Especially when my imperfections are pointed out by others, the ability to find humor in them eases the rigidity of the self-image by prescribing value to the discovery of said imperfections, not as a direct attack on my character that I will most likely try to defend viciously, but as an opportunity to conduct a critical review that began as a playful jab. In other words, as I try to reason why and how it is funny that I am flawed in these ways, I analyze myself at a level far deeper than I would have done so, had I felt no humorous value or intent. Of course, an ideal performance would involve such analysis regardless of the context in which the imperfections are identified. It is unfortunate that I am still blinded by my own ego at times, and have to resort to these measures as acceptable bug-fixes. Ultimately, this is why it is beneficial to view myself less seriously, as an individual who most definitely has certain aspects that can and should be made fun of. 

The willingness to lower one’s defenses, however, requires fortitude and trust in one’s capability to change. Ironically, this is a partial solidification of one’s self image, but we must distinguish it from the fortitude we bolster around our present state-of-being. The former focuses on the potential, the latter on the actual. Only then can I distance myself from the grasps of the past self-image, free of the fear that one cannot exist without the other. For what good does potential do, without having identified the state in which change can occur from? Perhaps self-improvement is a cycle of dissociative existential crises, after all, as we continue to abandon the state-of-being we once occupied, only to move on to the next, knowing that one day, it must go as well.