Self-Expression
Written 08.03.2019
Self-expression is an utmost human desire. To express the self is to establish a channel of communication between what is you and what is not you— to convey what it is like to be you. This is my definition of self-expression. The audience need not be identified, the content need not be specified. The details need not be detailed.
From here it is up to the self to select their expressive medium of choice, as well as their desired form of expression. But where do we begin? What is it that I want? I want to express myself (B). Currently I am not expressing myself (A). How do I go from point A to point B? I can take any path I want. There are no rules, but there are also no guidelines. There is complete freedom, which unfortunately invites absolute chaos.
Since there are too many possibilities to consider, the best we can do is to simply take our first step into the chaos. What this step will look like I cannot tell you. It may be the first sentence of a poem, the first line of code, the first chord of a song. It may not belong to the traditional sense of creative expression. The first research paper you read about a topic you want to explore; the first vocabulary you learn of another language. It may even be your first post on instagram.
By taking the first step you’ve successfully narrowed down the infinite number of possible paths to a “less infinite” number. You’ve introduced order into the realm of chaos. Then you take another step, even though you’re unsure whether it’s the right one. You may have spun off into another direction and prolonged the arrival to your destination, but you still feel like you’re getting closer.
You continue to take more steps until at some point in time, you reach point B. You look at the product of your journey. Whether it be a poem, a song, or an app, you reflect upon its representation of your expressive desires. Could you have done better? Do you want to do better? You don’t have to. It may be a one-time only kind of thing, and that’s fine. But for those that choose to retrace their path from A to B, your avenue of self-expression becomes more refined with each additional trip. Your steps are more oriented, your path more linear. You feel more competent. With time, you cultivate a satisfactory outlet of self-expression.
Today I write about the process of self-expression because I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be faced with total chaos. Most of us stick to the paths we’ve treaded since childhood, lost in the comfort and ease of the existing psycho-neural infrastructure. It might even seem foolish to try taking different paths, especially if it feels pointless to even try. Why would you want to learn to paint if you’re never going to be good as van Gogh?
However, today, more so than other days, I am tired of the rigidity of order, and the chaos is very much inviting. I hope this newfound adventurous spirit doesn’t leave me after the first step. tldr; trying new things = chaos = fun (?). for how long idk.